Valentines day is here. Almost everyone from young couples, singles, men and women of all ages are excited about this day. There are some who celebrate it directly and those who watch and read about how others celebrate it. We are all touched by it in our lives. Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp are filled with videos, msgs, quotes, memes that celebrate this day of love.
While I love the excuse to celebrate everything in life. I have witnessed men and women celebrate valentines day with aplomb when they are seeing each other, and after they have seen enough of each other ( read marriage), they celebrate it with a forced or a routine approach. The usual scenario is women have expectations, men know they have to live upto those. There is a element of obligation and forced gestures for the same occasion.
Young love that is about care and concern and fretting over the smallest of details gradually becomes less and less about that and more and more about the larger things in life : the more important ones. (Or so they say.) To a large extent that is true. Life demands of us, what romance cannot always suffice. So I am wondering what valentines day should really mean for those who have Been There Done That? Perhaps like a annual health check up. It could be a day for Annual Heart and Emotions check up. For those who have been together around, gifts and cards , flowers and dinners are welcomed. But what would really stir up the real love and mean something?
Over a period of time, love becomes less and less careful and more and more indifferent. Smallest details that make us feel loved. Gestures that remind us that we matter to someone. And acts that show us how our presence makes a difference to someone are easily taken for granted or forgotten. I say those caring actions are the real Avengers of our personal life. They fight against the evils of boredom, apathy and distance between two people. Someone said the opposite of love is not hate , but indifference. How many of you have felt uncared for ? Forgotten ? And neglected within relationships? Despite the fact, that you know your partners love you. And you believe that they just don’t have the time or don’t care about you in the same small ways. A big fat gift, a lavish dinner, a fragrant bouquet, a perfume on valentines day cannot really warm the heart for more than a day. Its the small gestures, the everyday care. The daily acts. The thoughts that we think and express and how, to our loved ones, that makes each day, a day of love. Love is Care in Action. If you love, you show care in your words, in your actions, in your tone. A child understands love only in the way you care for him/her. Your words, your tone, you actions tell him how you feel everyday. Partners are no different. Perhaps thats why there is no need for a love day for children. Only partners need this day as a reminder.
Having said that, Valentines Day can be a day to make resolutions for yourself, as a person, as a partner and work on it each day for the rest of the year. And who said resolutions cannot be made over wine, dinner and loving company !!
Happy Loving !